Donatella Vibrates

Whilst lamenting the monotony of everyday life now that university has ended I plead to the universe for some exciting opportunity to lift my spirits. Later that day my friend Hula called asking if I'd like to go and see Donatella Versace talk at the Oxford Student Union. I'm far too cynical and British to believe in any New Age mumbo-jumbo philosophy but merci beaucoup universe! The second I stepped off the coach torrential rain descended upon Oxford meaning that my 'I'm going to see Donatella Versace' outfit was a bit pointless as I looked like a drowned rat. We legged it to the Union and as we took our seats Hula elbowed me to draw attention to who was sitting in front of us. Christopher Kane and Erdem. This was going to be a far classier affair than I have grown accustomed to living in South East Lan-dan. Next through the doors was Allegra Versace escorted by Rupert Everett and finally the extraordinarily petite Donatella strutted in, a blur of peroxide hair, tanned skin and black leather. 

I say blur because the bitch moves fast in 7" heels. From the photographic evidence above I wish to propose a conspiracy theory that Donatella Versace vibrates at a very high frequency, undetectable to the human eye but captured superbly by my friend's camera. It's either that or my friend's camera is shit. Anywho, vibrating she-demon or not Donatella was incredibly funny which I was not expecting given that the fashion industry notoriously lacks a sense of humour. Questions were provided by Tim Blanks of Style.com and topics ranged from dressing the Queen in leather to Elizabeth Taylor stealing one of Donatella's rings. I love going to talks given by fashion designers because you get a glimpse of the brain behind the brand. After the talk I attempted to get a better picture of Donatella and these were the results:

For the majority of the talk I was looking at the back of Rupert Everett's head (in the white shirt). Although I am quite sure that Rupert Everett's head is abnormally large, he is still beautiful. I've had a soft spot for him ever since he did those documentaries about Lord Byron and somehow managed to be naked five times each episode.

There are several pictures like this. I considered making a Donatella jigsaw but then I realized that I'm too lazy and y'all know what she looks like anyway. Use your imagination lazy bitches. When I was still in Oxford I got a call from a friend of mine who is a stylist, asking if I wanted to help with styling a film. The film has completely taken over my life and I spend more time on the tube than in bed but I'm really enjoying myself. I'll keep you updated and will post pictures of the final looks when I manage to get all of the wardrobe and all of the actors in the same room.